這是我從網路轉錄過來的裋篇小說

我很喜歡這篇 

因為我覺得我對我喜歡的人的方式，就是過度的付出 

也許這樣的付出對對方來說，是場夢靨 

最近聽了盧學叡可不可以愛_我 

覺得歌還不錯，歌詞中某些地方還滿感同深受的 

介紹給大家聽，希望大家會喜歡，謝謝 

 那年的夏天，我真的以為我可以離開好人團了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
    和她在一起很快樂，她個子矮矮小小的，個性很溫柔，和她在
                                                                               
一起，我覺得很開心，我常常逗她開心，我很喜歡抓娃娃，每次都把抓
                                                                               
到的娃娃送給她，她也很喜歡娃娃，我也會常常作Flash動畫，逗她開
                                                                               
心。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
     而我，最喜歡看到她笑起來的樣子。

那年還未正式進入夏天，我們已經像男女朋友一樣，偶爾她會
                                                                               
來我家一起看影片，偶爾我們兩個會一起吃晚餐，我想要她開心，會帶
                                                                               
她去玩，她似乎也很喜歡和我在一起，我看得出來。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「我們在一起吧……？」我害怕的這麼問，畢竟我從來沒有
                                                                               
脫離過好人團。
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「快期末考了，努力用功，暑假再給你答案。」她笑笑的這
                                                                               
麼說，希望我用功。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    平常的我很混，幾乎不太去學校上課，這次為了她，我努力

用功讀書，我花了一個禮拜的時間K書，想到她之後就會給我一個答
                                                                               
案，我的內心充滿著坎坷不安，一個禮拜的時間，說快不快，說慢
                                                                               
不慢……一下就過了，當然我最後ALL PASS，並以四科六十分榮譽
                                                                               
的低空飛過。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「阿強，老媽和阿姨說好了，你就到他們工廠去打工吧。」
                                                                               
老媽完全沒有給我反駁的餘地，擅自幫我決定了暑假的生活。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    本來想拒絕的，但在媽強硬的態度之下，以及我也覺得沒
                                                                               
打工暑假生活挺無聊的，我就去打工了，但是我擔心的是她……

在工廠裡打工，我是負責把東西裝進盒子裡，我只需要做
                                                                               
這一個動作，但是由於產量很大，我每天需要打工十二個小時……
                                                                               
回家只能全身酸痛的躺在床上，我沒時間照顧她，或者是和她約會，
                                                                               
我感到十分擔心，我是不是疏遠了她？不，我不能讓我好不容易得
                                                                               
來的幸福就這樣喪失掉！
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    於是我，只要有空時間就會關心她，送東西給她，對她的
                                                                               
關心只有增沒有減，但是我實在太忙，沒時間和她聊太多內心的話。

「妳想好了嗎？」我問她。
                                                                               
    「你太忙了……改天好好聊吧。」她這樣對我說。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    她的關心讓我感受到了，我的確是太忙，不能好好的談這
                                                                               
件事，等我這份短期工打完……
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我思考著這件事，仍就十分關心她與對她好，雖然一邊工
                                                                               
作，但是我的腦子裡都是她的面孔，我撐著，這是我為她而努力，
                                                                               
只要等我打完工……我就可以陪著她，好好照顧她……這是我腦袋

裡唯一的念頭。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我打工一個月，這一個月裡，雖然很忙，但是我從來不敢
                                                                               
忽略她，也因為工作的關係我對她的是加倍的愛護與照顧，如果她
                                                                               
有任何想要我幫忙的事，我都一定做到，而且比她想的還完善。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    例如她希望我幫她修電腦，僅管我昨天做得混身酸痛，
                                                                               
只要動一下就會受不了，我還是會帶她去買電腦材料，並且幫她
                                                                               
裝修和灌程式；她想要一起吃晚餐，我會特地買好去陪她吃。

終於打完工了，我閒下來了，於是我有更多的時間陪著
                                                                               
她，但是……卻輪到她在打工了，她是接外面廣播、錄音室的工
                                                                               
作，那個工作壓力大，工作時間也很不固定，她沒時間陪我，沒
                                                                               
關係，我有很多時間，我願意付出、付出、付出。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我會買宵夜給她，每幾小時就傳一次簡訊，問她好不好，
                                                                               
需不需要我的幫忙，也天天打電話告訴她我在幹嘛、今天發生什
                                                                               
麼事，我也會照常把夾到的娃娃給她，或是寫卡片給她，有關於
                                                                               
我的任何事，她都不需要擔心，她只需要把自己的工作做好，照
                                                                               
顧好自己……我是這樣想。

於是我發現，我好黏她，我也好想把全世界最好的東西
                                                                               
都交到她手上。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    當我幸福的這樣想著時，她開始漸漸不理我。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「呵，我今天啊，看到妳最喜歡的娃娃！我花了很多錢把
                                                                               
它夾到的，明天我就拿給妳，這樣妳工作啊，就可以看著它，心情
                                                                               
也會好一點！」

                                                                               
    「嗯……謝謝……」她似乎很累，這麼回著我。
                                                                               
    「今天很累吧？」
                                                                               
    「嗯。」她沒多說什麼，也沒抱怨工作的辛苦，只是回應
                                                                               
了一聲。
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「嗯，要加油，需要我的時候我會說一聲，我明天去看看
                                                                               
妳，好不好？」我這麼說，或許我的陪伴可以讓她好過一點。
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「不用啦，我明天有很多事要做，可能沒辦法陪你。」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「沒關係啊，我看看妳，把娃娃拿給妳……妳還是可以忙
      妳的啊。」
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「嗯……不用了，娃娃改天我在和你拿……」
                                                                               
    「喔……」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我似乎感覺到她的冷淡……發生什麼事？她在工作上遇到
                                                                               
什麼困難嗎？還是……我做錯了什麼嗎？我冷淡她了嗎？還是她太
                                                                               
累？還是……還是……
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我想了一百個問題來煩惱自己，我不停的問，我是否做錯
                                                                               
什麼？我關心她關心的不對了嗎？我送她禮物也都是她之前最喜歡                                                                          
的啊……到底怎麼了？
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    之後，我仍舊每天都打電話給她，並且又對她更好，我怕
                                                                               
是我對她不夠好，所以我把我想到所有可以做的事都做，送便當、
                                                                               
打電話問她、傳簡訊、送禮物……用我最大的關心她，她卻一天
                                                                               
比一天話還少。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我開始每天在夜裡感到難過，開始感到害怕。於是有一天
                                                                               
我追著她問：「我們呢？我們是什麼關係？」

「朋友。」她這樣回答。
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「怎麼會……」我不了解，之前她確實是喜歡我的，朋友
                                                                               
幫我問過她，她也說要考慮在一起的，怎麼一個暑假就變了……
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「唉……我工作，真的很累。」電話裡她是這樣說著。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    那天夜裡，我又輾轉思考，我覺得是我之前工作所以沒好好
                                                                               
的和她溝通，可能是我哪裡不禁意冷落的她，我百分之百知道她確實
                                                                               
喜歡我的，怎麼現在和我說我們要當朋友呢……她說她是工作很累，
                                                                               
我想不是，一定是哪裡出了問題……我百思不得其解，也很難過，

夜裡的我，總是傷得心在疼痛。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我想了很久，決定不斷的付出，感動她，不管我曾經哪裡
                                                                               
惹過她，但我希望我的付出能讓她再次接受我。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    後來，只要我對她付出一次，她就生氣一次，並且吵架了
                                                                               
好幾次，她叫我不要再對她好。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    「為什麼？」她從來不告訴我究竟為什麼，連我對她好她
                                                                               
都不要了？

    「……你的付出讓我壓力很大。」她終於這麼說著：「不是
                                                                               
付出就好，只是你的付出讓我覺得很恐怖，我不想要和你一直過這樣
                                                                               
的生活，你知道嗎？你讓我想逃。你走吧，我不是那種你等久就會
                                                                               
回頭的人。」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    聽完，我像隻鬥敗的公雞，毫無任何鬥志，原來原來，我
                                                                               
一直都是做錯的……
                                                                               
                                                                               
    我的付出，讓她壓力很大……
                                                                                             
 我做錯了？
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    後來過了半年後，我才知道：
                                                                               
    我的付出，是對方的夢靨。
                                                                 

盧學叡可不可以愛_我