1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?
2nd Eskimo: Alaska
1st Eskimo: Don t bother, I ll ask her myself!
A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don t work!