If you ever testify in court,
you might wish you could have beenas sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by adefense attorney
during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying toundermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir.
But I subsequently observed a person
matching thedescription of the offender,
running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-calledoffender.
Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life?
Let me ask you this then officer.
Do you have aroom
where you change your clothes in preparation for your dailyduties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer,
if you trust your fellow officers with your life,
you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room
you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex,
and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter,
and a prompt recess was called.
The officer on the stand has been nominated
for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
Number 2:
Now We Know Why He Was a General -----
In an recent interview,
General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked
if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people
who have harbored and abetted the terrorists
who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ...
Our job is to arrange the meeting."
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