my ex emailed me, and mentioned his marriage issue.
the same story i heard over and over for years. she doesn t like to live in America. she doesn t look for jobs. she just wants to be a housewife, and he is not happy about it.
sometimes I wonder what s wrong with you guys? dont you know who you are marry to? this is not a news to me. I have heard it since year 2004. I wonder have you listen to each other?
i wrote back, and told him a story. 3 months ago, my another ex, a classical musician, was complaining that his wife doesn t understand what music means to him. well, to be honest, I really wanna shout back- live with it, that s your choice! I really don t understand men why they choose a woman who doesn t understand their essential personal qualities? this man simply told me he think he can CHANGE HER.
It s been 5 years I have known this man. every year, he tells me i am presenting Arts in his life. yes, we did have special moments. last month he told me he remembers every details of me - my smile, my laugh, the touch of my skin, even my smell. i am very vivid in his mind. Am I being touched? No. it s too late to tell me. Wrong time. Wrong place. We had our chances to be togeher. It s too late, married man. After all, you choose her not me to be your wife. if you feel trap in your marriage, that s the problem between you and her, not me. It s none of my bussiness at all.
he emailed me few days ago, and complain i am cold heart. i smile. yes, married man, i am apple flavored ice cream. you had made your choice and married another woman. it s not my duty to have a conversation with you. I am your friend, not lover. live with it!
Well, from my point of view is I don t believe anyone can be changed. Few people maybe can be influenced, but the essence of who they are will be the same. Maybe I am being naive. I thought the secrete of happy marriage is the couple will think of how to make her/his spouse happy, not fill up her/his own needs.
I guess that s the reason I stay single. I can not stand any one try or want to change me. once I aware he is trying to manipulate me, i ran away.
Gosh, as I look back, it is hard to meet someone who aprricate who you are, and doesn t want to change you. Maybe I am being naive, but I do believe one day, I will meet someone who understand and appricate who i am.
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