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守護10 《前一篇 回他的日記本 後一篇》 守護12
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篇名: 守護11
作者: 死神殿-邪念天使♥〞 日期: 2006.03.28  天氣:  心情:

    隔天,白雲還是沒來,這時候我心中那一點點不詳的預感是越來越大了,
                                                                               
一點一點的不安一直浮現,但,我卻束手無策,所以,我下課就打電話給白雲但他卻沒開手機,
                                                                               
他手機從來沒有在關機的,只有換電池那幾秒鐘關機而已,但,今天他卻沒開手機,
                                                                               
這樣的舉止,讓我更難平息心中那不安的焦慮,於是我選擇睡覺來忘了這一切,
                                                                               
可是,就在我睡醒後,我桌上多了一封信,是白雲寫的,
                                                                               
聽朋友說白雲有來學校,就在我睡著的那節下課,但,卻是來辦轉學手續的!
                                                                               
聽朋友說他穿著一身黑,感覺很憂傷,最後跟朋友道別也只有短短的一節下課十分鐘,
                                                                               
他留下了四封信給四個人,一個是我,一個是阿孝,一個是陳靜,最後一個,
                                                                               
當然就是他最難忘掉的曉青。他給我的信內容是這樣的:
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   笨芸:
                                                                               
     很抱歉我沒把要轉學這事告訴妳,到了今天才寫信告訴妳,很抱歉。
                                                                               
 妳還記得我們一起跨年的那天嗎?我本來要在那天晚上告訴妳的,但是我說
                                                                               
 不出口,我怕妳擔心,所以,一直沒告訴妳!我很高興有妳這個朋友,在這
                                                                               
 一路上,妳陪伴我度過我的喜怒哀樂,老實說,要不是有妳,我恐怕早就無
                                                                               
 法度過了。一直以來,我就把妳當成我的知心好友,與妳分享我的開心,我
                                                                               
 的悲傷,但是,我卻沒想到會以這種結果說再見,我真的沒想到,我也不願
                                                                               
 發生這種事,會轉學是逼不得以的,妳應該還記得我上次被砍傷吧?就是那
                                                                               
 時候,我爸媽才決定要我轉學的,其實,我老早就該轉了,只是我跟我爸媽
                                                                               
 許下承諾我不會再有下次讓他們擔心,並且成績會拼回來,我爸媽才給我這
                                                                               
 段時間觀察我的,但是,我的成績還是沒能恢復之前的水準,雖然個性有改
                                                                               
 變很多了,但是,天下哪個父母不希望自己子女未來成龍成鳳,所以,他們
                                                                               
 還是決定要我轉學,真的很抱歉,現在才讓妳知道,抱歉!
                                                                               
   未來,我不在妳身邊了,妳要好好保重自己,別老是跟大家處的不好,那大
                                                                               
    小姐的脾氣改一改,這樣妳將會更受歡迎,懂嗎?
                                                                               
    最後,還是要在一次跟妳說聲:謝謝還有,抱歉!
              
                                                                               
                      永遠的朋友                                                                           
                                                                        白雲

                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
    看完這封信後,我的淚水已像潰了堤的大壩,怎麼也止不住,
                                                                               
〔為什麼?為什麼會這樣?笨白雲,你為何不叫醒我?你怎麼連回學校看同學也不叫我,
                                                                               
你這樣叫我如何忍受?我怎麼能承受這一覺醒來的打擊?為什麼。。。。。〕
                                                                               
我已經泣不成聲了,再也說不出任何的話語 ,整天只有坐在自己的位置上獨自流淚,
                                                                               
當然,哭的人並不是只有我,還有陳靜和阿孝還有班上跟白雲比較好的女生,
                                                                               
唯獨曉青沒哭,但是,我也發現她眼眶紅紅的,我想,她一定也不希望白雲走吧!
                                                                               
原本打算要慶祝白雲的生日前夕,他卻來個像生離死別的離開,這叫我們如何承受,
                                                                               
我們那麼辛苦的準備要替他慶生,也好不容易說動了曉青要給他一個驚喜,
                                                                               
現在,卻成了幻影,一切的努力都白費了,這一切就在白雲生日的前兩天成了泡影,
                                                                               
在那美麗的短暫瞬間後,化為虛有!我不甘心,我真的不甘心,
                                                                               
為何白雲他總是給我這種驚喜 ,這種我一點都不想要的驚喜,我好討厭,真的好討厭!
                                                                               
於是,我決定打電話問他,向他問個清楚,我告訴自己絕對不能哭,不能讓他知道我哭,
                                                                               
偏偏電話還沒接通我的淚水就已經不爭氣的流下了,
                                                                               
〔喂!〕
                                                                               
〔嘶,嘶,嘶(哭泣的聲音)〕
                                                                               
〔是菁芸嗎?妳怎麼了啊?不要哭了啦,我知道妳是在哭我轉學的事,但這也沒辦法啊,
                                                                               
我有逼不得已的苦衷,妳就別再傷心了好嗎?〕
                                                                               
〔你,你,你,你為何不早點說,你這樣突如其來的轉學,你要我如何接受?
                                                                               
還有,你為何回學校看朋友卻不叫醒我,你跟大家都有說再見,偏偏只有我沒有,
                                                                               
你這樣,我的心怎麼平衡?〕說完,我又哭了。
                                                                               
〔真的很抱歉,我本來想叫醒妳,但,我發現妳睡的很熟,我就不忍心叫醒妳啊!
                                                                               
我知道我沒叫醒你會讓妳更傷心,但是,當我叫醒妳後,我會不知道怎麼跟妳道別!
                                                                               
當時曉青和陳靜出去買東西了,所以,我也沒跟他們道別,我們那群中唯一有道別的,
                                                                               
就只有阿孝了,妳知道的,男生跟男生比較不會不知怎麼說再見,要是當時,
                                                                               
陳靜和曉青還有妳都在,我還真的不知該怎麼說再見呢?所以,沒道別或許比較好!〕
                                                                               
〔你都不知道我們因為你哭的多慘嗎?大家連課都上不下去了,都是你啦,
                                                                               
突然的轉學,你不知道大家快學測了嗎?你這樣大家怎麼有心情考試?〕
                                                                               
〔說實在的,我的離開只會讓跟我比較好的你們傷心比較久一點點而已,
                                                                               
其他的人兩三天就會忘了我這個人曾經存在,畢竟,現實是殘酷的,
                                                                               
當大家為了學業時,自然就會把我給忘了!所以,傷心只是一陣子,妳就委屈一點吧!〕
                                                                               
〔你說那是什麼話?別人我不知道,但是我們幾個好朋友會把你忘了嗎?
                                                                               
你都不知道,你對我們有多重要嗎?你這個大笨蛋!混蛋,討厭鬼....〕說著說著,

淚又不爭氣的劃過臉頰。
                                                                               
〔對不起,真的對不起。。。。。。。。〕
                                                                               
    就這樣,白雲離開我們的生活作息了,一句對不起就把我們的千言萬語堵塞了,
                                                                               
我知道其實他也不願這樣,但是,這個事實要我們如何接受呢?我曾經對自己說過,
                                                                               
我要守護他一輩子的,如今,他卻已經離我們遠去了,我該如何是好,未來,
                                                                               
我們還有機會遇見嗎?我們還有機會在同一所高中嗎?我不知道,這一切也只有等待了,
                                                                               
等待奇蹟的出現。不過,我跟白雲約好,我們還是要繼續連絡,
                                                                               
並不能因為他轉學而停止聯絡,我會告訴他我在這邊的情況,他也會告訴我,
                                                                               
他在新環境的情形,所以,我們的緣分並沒有因為他轉學而一切都結束,
                                                                               
但是,其他的同學,就如同白雲說的,一陣子後,大家也不再提起白雲了,
                                                                               
因為學測日子一天一天的逼近了,大家也都因為課業而忘了白雲曾經的存在,
                                                                               
真沒想到,人們果然是很自私的,不過,我不會,因為我說過,
                                                                               
我會一直守護著白雲,一直到永遠。。。。。。。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
 #你的離開並不是再見,而是讓我們下一次見面前做心情沉澱#        
 
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                   
                                                           
                                                                                
                                                                               
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