Marriage Humor （婚姻幽默）
Wife: What are you doing?
妻：你在作什麼啊？
Husband : Nothing.
夫：沒作什麼。
Wife : Nothing...? You ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
妻：沒作什麼？你看著我們的結婚證書，足足有一小時了。
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.
夫：我在尋找它的有效日期是到什麼時候。
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Wife : Do you want dinner?
妻： 要吃晚餐嗎？
Husband : Sure! What are my choices?
夫： 當然！我可以選擇嗎？
Wife : Yes or no.
妻：要或不要。
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Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
妻：為什麼你經常把我的照片放在你皮夾裡？
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
夫：當問題發生時，不管有多困難，我看著妳照片就迎刃而解了。
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!
妻：你看我對你有多麼驚人的影響力啊！
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?
夫：是啊！望著妳的照片我問自己，還有什麼困難比這個來得大呢？
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Stress Reliever Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
女孩：婚後我要分擔你所有的煩惱、困擾，以減輕你的負擔。
Boy: It s very kind of you, darling, but I don t have any worries or troubles.
男孩：親愛的，妳真體貼，但我並沒有任何煩惱或困擾。
Girl: Well that s because we aren t married yet.
女孩：哦？那是因為我們還沒結婚的緣故。
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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
子：今早我和爹地一起搭車，他要我讓座給一位女士。
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
母：嗯，你這麼做是對的。
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy s lap.
子：但是，媽，我當時是坐在爹地的腿上呢。
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A newly married man asked his wife, Would you have married me if my father hadn t left me a fortune?
一位新婚的先生問他太太：如果我父親沒留下巨額財產給我，你會嫁給我嗎？
Honey, the woman replied sweetly, I d have married you, N O MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!
女人溫柔的答道：親愛的，不管是誰留下財產給你，我都會嫁給你的。
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I ll be yours forever .
女孩對著男友說：吻我一下，我就永遠屬於你了。
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.
男孩回道：謝謝您提早警告我。
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A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
妻問夫：你最喜歡我哪一點？我美麗的臉龐，還是我性感的軀體？
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
他把她從頭到腳瀏覽了一遍，回道：我喜歡你的幽默感。
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