I thought I had much to say, yes indeed it was. But when I began, I couldn t figure out where to start and what to write, because there were too much in my mind, like a 毛線團 many many things entangled and hard to find the head. It should be much easier on a face to face talk.
But anyway, as an aged uncle, I had walked / lived the same life path you were going through, therefore I probably able to imagine the difficulties within your mentality. Forgive me if I am wrong, and please correct me. If we can get rid of the "Face" problem and by mutually honest with our authenticity, we can then enlight ourself a better new & happier life.
Probably, we were blaming many things in our life? They were my case many years ago, such as: Our origin / family where we were born; our parents; not smart enough? not as handsome? not better educated? Now when I look back, they are true, but they are wrong too. Because there were no such computerised standard. If I compare myself with many other people whom I admired, I am a failure. But in the mean time, I know, many many people are admiring me too. I would be smiling in night dream if compare myself to them. We need to be satisfied and happy, no matter what we are facing in our daily life! Our real value is not judged by our material success but by our spiritual / mental wealth!! Yes, it is true! That s why I would like to go contribute rest of my life in a distant place in mainland(or Taiwan) to educate the next generation.
So, what is the value of our life? is the rich people more vaued than us? absolutely not! look at the case of the corrupted Chen Shui-Bian and other similar cases, they valued negatively below zero.... What we should do is strangthening / enriching ourself so that we have something to give! It would be good if you have money to offer, but it would be even better if give out yourself such as your "love / mind / ideology / knowledge". Because nation can not be strong if its people are ill in mind!
Comparing to me, You are still very young, your future depends on your current determination and your action in your daily life! No more looking back, no more complaining! Accept whatever you currently have now, start thinking about what is your life plan and goal.
By the way, I would also suggest you set yourself freedom to join some church activities, because you need some positive & intelligient friends. You have no reason to be against the Christianity when it is able to help you! Although you might even find some bad Christians, you certainly are able to find more really good friends there! Or, you can find another good organization to join? I think many young anti-Christ people are really stupid, they are not good model to follow. Firstly, when you join a new society, please get rid of the hiden self pride! instead just be humble, honest / straight, joyful and open!
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