I tried to stay at home and do whatever I want.
I tried to watch funny TV shows and movies I like.
I tried to listen to the music I love.
I tried to make myself be busy, but tonight finally I cried.
I didn't know why they just ingorned me?
Maybe that was myself problems, or maybe I need to talk with them actively.
I know they like her because she is young and she is LDS.
However I can't be her because I'm not teenager any more.
Actually she is not either. How can I behave like her?!
Anyway, I stayed there, and just made me feel uncomfortable.
In addition, I always remember the line my mom told me before.
It makes me so sad and gloomy.
Before my mom said something to me, I was very exctied abot going back to my home.
Nevertheless, after that, I just think it doesn't matter that I go back or not.
I'm always jealous my friends' sbilings help them a lot when they get in trouble.
Because if I get in troouble, my sister never helps me.
She just knows how to snitch on me to my mom.
I know I said that is kind of childish.
But sometimes I don't wanna my parents worry too much about me.
I need somebody helps me and be on my side.
I admit I wanna do something to prove I already grew up to my parents.
By contrast, I always screw up everything.
Anyway, NOW I felt better after crying and writing down my feeling.
Except I'm still not exctied to go back to HOME.
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By the way, NOW I like to write a journal in English because no one want to see.
jajajaja........
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Today, I asked Terence, who is aki's boyfriend, "Do you like your new home-stay?"
He didn't give me an exact answer.
By contrast, Aki immediately said "For sure, he doesn't like."
From this situation, I could feel Aki is selfish.
Because if their dating is being obstructed, she'll take some tricks to defene her dating.
For example, in the beginning, when Terence stayed at Tiffany's house, which was his ex-homestay,
Tiffany treated him very nice, such as he could use his computer at his room, and he could go home late.
Since series of birthday parties last Novermber, Tiffany became streicter to him.
Because he stayed outside all the time and told a lie to Tiffany, she felt not to be respected.
Thus, she became more serious and made rules to him.
That means Terence couldn't stay at my house until midnight any more.
That also means Tiffany was her barrier of dating with her boyfriend.
Thus, she tried to cry, say and complaint about that to Michelle, who is my host mom.
After that, their relationship between Tiffany and Michelle became worse and worse.
In addition, this was a trigger that Terence came to my house for meeting Aki, but Tiffany did not allow him.
Also, he wanted to stay here until 10:00 pm, so he asked Michelle called Tiffany for getting her permission.
Absolutely, Terence did not get her permission, but he was still at my house until 10:00.
After that, Tiffany kicked out him. Thus, Terence talked with Roger about his new homestay.
Roger decided his new homestay in Dallas. There is far away from my house.
That means Roger also became her barrier of dating.
She is kind of using Michelle to clean her barriers.
Anyway, Roger and Michelle always do not see eye to eye, so Michelle is on Aki's side.
Roger is also snobbish, therefore NOW Aki hopes Terence could move to the house of Michelle's mom.
Michelle uses Aki, Aki uses Michelle, Roger does do whatever he wants.
Today, I heard she also complainted about this to Anson.
Anyhow, I didn't continue asking further questions to Terence.
I just said "you'll move here soon, so...."
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It is undeniable that sometimes Roger may be right.
Because tonight my roommate slept very very early, it made me so surprised.
I think Roger should make this decision earlier because I could study and sleep well.
Before toinght, she always slept so late and talked with her friends or Terernce loudly.
But I couldn't say anything to her. I just changed everything as far as possible. |